The Legends of River Song
The Legends of River Song

It’s still a really good year to be a River Song fan.

While the glut of new releases related to her have slowed down, nearly four months after the e-edition of “The Legends of River Song” was released, the print edition of the book is now available. For those just joining us, “Legends” is the release of four more excerpts from River’s diary that detail everything from an encounter with Elvis (or is it?) to the famed picnic on Asgard.

To mark the occasion, we were able to secure an interview with the author of those diary entries. It was quite the undertaking and required going through a number of clearances and well … a lady shouldn’t reveal all her secrets now, should she? Over the course of our galactic interaction, Dr. Song (or Professor, it’s really hard to gauge these days) provided fascinating insight into the release of these diary entries.

We have seen quite a bit from your diary in recent days: this book of your entries, plus a fascinating oral tale that resulted in the defeat of the Rulers of the Universe.. The breadth of your work normally is restricted to academic writings, so why are you suddenly throwing open the doors to your personal life?

Archaeology is the most personal discipline there is, darling. It is tracing the footprints of people’s souls; reading the lives they reveal to us from what they left behind. They speak to us from the past, so it felt only fair to speak a little bit about myself to the present. Whenever that is where you are.

I notice you have quite a number of degrees to your name: archaeology from Luna University, five degrees from five different timelines from the Sorbonne, and quite a number of others. Which of those degrees is your favourite, and which academic subject would you like to master next?

I’m currently half way through a six month apprentice ship in lockpicking, and  perfecting my ju-jitsu. I expect both to come in highly useful.

Also, I’m considering a teaching a course in Time and Relativity Physics, because I’ve yet to meet anyone who has the faintest idea, never mind lived it. Although I did have several rather fun evenings drinking martinis with Richard Feynman at Caltech. Talented man.

The four excerpts you have released touch on different aspects of your career, beginning with a rather intriguing picnic on Asgard. The picnic touched on a very personal topic, and you chose not to address it with your husband. Do you find it easier to share with strangers than your husband? Have you attempted to ask him about it again?

As so often with my husband, he will either have selective deafness or selective memory syndrome, so, quite frankly, it generally doesn’t matter whether we’ve had any given conversation or not.

I understand you take borrow your husband’s TARDIS when you need it, as well as made a few modifications. In addition to adding a drinks cabinet, what other changes have you and the Old Girl conspired to make?

Please do not start me on the fight we had about the armoury. I lost that one. I don’t, usually, and I hate losing.

Oh, I will tell you though, I made him upgrade the cinema. We recovered the velvet, fixed the popcorn maker, and the organ’s back. It’s lovely.

At the end of the released excerpts, you noted that the Governor of Stormcage took away your books and pictures, and you were conspiring with the arthropods on getting your vortex manipulator back. How long did that take in the end?

Hahaha. Did you just ask me a specific question about timings? SWEETIE you’re hilarious! Bless you.

Did you ever see Elvis the Auton again?

He’s always on my mind.

What is one adventure from your diary that you have not relayed yet, but you would like to some day?

Do I really have to say the ‘S’ word to you? Do I? Really? Surely not!

And have a fabulous day,


River. xxxx


Doctor Who: The Legends of River Song contains tales written by Jenny T Colgan, Jacqueline Rayner, Steve Lyons, Guy Adams and Andrew Lane and is available in the UK from and in the US from or any intergalactic bookseller.


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