Coming Soon! Series 7 Merchandise…

Nah, not really. But here’s a “fun” list of merch that Blogtor feels should be hitting the stores for Christmas, rather than all the predictable stuff they’ve actually got lined up for us all… Please Note: If you are part of a company that produces any of these items, donate all my profits to the local donkey sanctuary. 

You Don’t Have To Be An Insane Dalek To Live Here,
But It Helps!
Self-help books are all the rage, still, and what better way to understand the terrific opening episode from this series, Asylum of the Daleks, than to get inside the head, or under the dome, of one of Skaro’s children.

The Oswin Oswald Cooking App
Sadly, due to her meagre
rations (and the fact she wasn’t real), this won’t take long to
download. Boy, does Ozzy love making soufflés and, by the time you’ve
done with this amazing Doctor Who app (with its one recipe), you will too!

The “Parliament of the Daleks” Playset
One for the kids! Christmas day won’t be complete without this political play-set featuring MPs from Skaro discussing the day’s events. See how the Dalek Prime Minister’s Question Time descends into chaos with another query about how rubbish the new Daleks look. Marvel at Dalek Cameron bullying Dalek Clegg! Gasp as Cabinet Dalek calls one of their slaves “pleb”!

The Brian Pond set of Golf Balls
One for the dads! Dinosaurs on a Spaceship might well have given us some awesome flippin’ dinosaurs, but it also gave us golf balls! Ideal for enticing that slow triceratops in your life into riding off into the sunset. Or wall. Your choice. 

Doctor Who Series 7 LIGHTBULBS!
These unique items flicker on and off at dramatic moments (as when necessary).

Kahler Temp Tats
(That’s “temporary tatoos”, grandad!)

Doctor Who Tennis for the Wii
The Power of Three revealed that everyone’s favourite Time Lord was rather fond of playing on the popular Nintendo console, and tennis at that. We envisage a game of mixed doubles where you can play “Mii” versions of The Doctor and River playing Amy and Rory whilst Tom Baker’s scarf is used at the net. Remember kids, never date a tennis player – love means nothing to them.

Professor Brian Cox and
Lord Alan Sugar action figures
Sticking with The Ponds’ penultimate story, the former keyboard player with 90s pop sensation D:Ream and the former home computer mogul popped up to discuss those pesky cubes but I’m sure we’d all like to get our mitts on mini Coxxo and a slighty~smaller Sugo. Can’t be any more tenuous/redundant than that Roman Soldier figure they brought out “from” The Fires of Pompeii a few years back…

Weeping Angel Cherub stress toy
Squeak-a-squeaka they go as you squeeze away the day’s stress due to the fact there’s no Doctor Who on till Christmas… #grumble Will come in handy again after Dec 25th when you realise there’s another break for a few months. #DoubleGrumble

A Pond Farewell Tissues
Perfect if you’re indulging in re-watching Amy and Rory express their love for one another by…. OOPS, nearly dropped a spoiler there! Also handy for the finales for Series 1, Series 2, Series 4, you get the idea… And yes, it’s bigger on the inside! (Just as well.)

Also looking forward to: the re~release of The Birdie Song on vinyl; the Rory Pond Medical Supplies Pack; the Cubes (collect 1-7); the Amy Pond easy~to~use Defibrillator; wooden Triceratops riding-horse; the autobiography, Susan: My Story as a Transgender Horsey; and Amy Pond reading glasses.

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