40. David Yates directs an episodeRather than letting the biggest gob on the planet loose with a big screen version of Doctor Who, why not employ the services of the Harry Potter director for a small screen story first? Urgh, I feel durty just typing those words… #hairypooter
39. Young Doctor WhoI smell a spin~off! Incredibly, the BBC did actually want to do a series of adventures featuring a young version of The Time Lord (presumably he went about calling himself “Student Doctor”) tooling about on Gallifrey. One can imagine Smallville hi~jinx as The Doc faces~off each week against The ‘Ster (that’s how the young Master referred to himself) as they both try to gain the affections of The Rani (she was too much of a bitch to have her name shortened). Series ends when the grumpy Time Lord stumbles across a rather slutty Type 40…Now Georgey M has found the man of her dreams and settled down with a family, it’s time for her to get back out there. Petey D’s daughter has just finished filming on the excellent second series of White Van Man (airing later this month) so she must be looking for some extra income to support her current hubby (whatever happened to him?). Ideally she would come back in a story called The Doctor’s Granddaughter, where it’s revealed she is…, Amy’s mother! Dun~dun~duuunnnn!
37. Doctor Who Vs. Inspector Spacetime
Surely this has to happen at some point???Back in the old days, and by old I mean a couple of years ago, the BBC placed trailers for Doctor Who in cinemas. It really enhanced the film~going experience no end and made turning up early for a movie essential. On most occasions the excitement of seeing a preview of Series 4 or 5 bettered the main feature it accompanied. May I humbly suggest a series of ads, each featuring a former Doctor Who saying, “Something, something, Doctor Who. Something, something, BBC. Something, something, 50th Anniversary.” Writes itself, really.
35. Doctor Who’s Next Top CompanionTo my great shame, I’ve never seen America’s Next Top Model, despite being a lover of beautiful women (especially damaged ones), but how about a weekly show where emotionally fragile, but aspiring, creatures (male, female and robot) fight it out to be the new TARDIS traveler. Judging panel consists of model Karen Gillan, writer/actor Mark Gatiss (as he lurves ANTM) and K~9.
33. Who invades Graham NortonJust as revenge, every radio and television show that The Nortors presents HAS to have some Doctor Who related element. Preferably someone from the series but I would be equally happy to have cartoon versions of characters popping up when he’s doing one of his “hilarious” monologues. Or a disembodied voice~over from The Doctor drowning out the would~be Moriarty’s comedy stylings. Either’s good.Like my suggestion for an edition of the Brilliant Book of Doctor Who for every year at No. 47 in this list, I can’t imagine anything better than to have an issue of Doctor Who Magazine from November 1963. Featuring interviews with Billy H & Co., a preview of the upcoming series and a completely empty reviews section. Production Notes promises no Bug~Eyed Monsters and lots educative material in the next few months whilst the letter page includes a letter bemoaning the cringe factor and another complaining about the loud music (blame Susan).
31. All The Doctors on TwitterCome on guys, get a grip! Colin Baker is already there (he was The Sixth Doctor, in case you don’t know), isn’t it about time Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant and Matt Smith* all got into the Twittersphere and started to tell us how much they hate the guy that replaced them? Even better would be the Tweet Wars that would exist as each tries to get the most followers. Hashtag, please make this happen.